The last few years a lot has happened, most of it all happened all at once and it has been hard for me to accept all that has taken place and find peace with everything.
I am hoping this is the start of me moving forward. Maybe its the fact that I’m a few months away from turning 30 or maybe its something else, but I know I need to start looking towards my future and going after what I want in life and doing the things I want to do in life. Start living my life again.
For the first time in my life doctors have been able to tell me that I am healthy and they have been able to give me some clarity as far as my future goes, I’ve never had that in life. It has always been a guessing game, but recently I’ve met some doctors who have been working with me and have given me confidence that I may live through my 30’s. That is a big deal for me, my whole life my future was uncertain and I had no answers.
I know life is full of uncertainty and no one really knows what the future holds, but for me having an unknown dwarfism, my life expectancy was an unknown. There haven’t been cases before me that we know of that can say “people with Saul Wilson can live until this certain age”. But recently more things are being discovered and right now I feel confident as I enter into my 30’s, where as before it was more of a “will I make it to age 30?”. There for a while, I didn’t know if I’d make it to 25, but I did.
For me another birthday, means I survived another year, it means that that is one more year that we know a person with Saul Wilson can live.
When you grow up with the medical field, you learn a lot. You not only become thankful for all the doctors who have helped you along the way, but you become thankful for all the years of experience you have, because that is one more year that you can use to teach someone. I know a lot of people don’t understand this way of thinking, but the thing is, my medical life is exactly what I was put on this earth for. I’ve always known that my medical expertise was what I was going to teach this world.
This is my life and while at times I’ve struggled with that, I am so very proud of what I’ve been able to do to help others. I am so very proud of the life I’ve lived. It hasn’t been an easy life, and I know many people don’t know that side of me and that’s because I didn’t want them too. I don’t want anyone to remember me as one who was always sad and dealing with personal and medical struggles, I want to be remembered as the one who had those struggles but despite all odds, I still smiled, I still held strong, I still carried on, I never gave up!