So they called me Friday afternoon and informed me that surgery is set for this coming Wednesday.
I am glad that we have a new surgery date but now I’ve been filled with so much worry. I worry about “plan b” as far as anesthesia goes because I’ve only had surgery with the normal anesthesia and tube and don’t know about plan b. I worry about waking up again in the recovery room only to find out that they couldn’t do surgery this time. I worry about any other future surgeries that I’m going to have and how this is going to affect them, or if it will.
I have people telling me not to worry about all of this but honestly after everything that has happened over the past few years, I’ve earned the right to worry.
I found out about the next surgery date and now I feel like I can’t get excited about it because once again I don’t want to get my hopes up.
I just continue to hope that everything does work out on Wednesday and I can finally get on the road to recovery, so that I can recover from this and in a few months undergo the next surgery.
And who knows maybe one day I’ll actually be able to start to live my life again without all these medical problems. That is what I dream of.