I was 21 years old when I started fighting this battle. I was at an age when I was trying to discover who I was and who I wanted to be. At that time I was thinking a lot about becoming a writer, or I wanted to write a book at least. I also toyed with the idea of motivational speaking. God knows I have enough life material to last me a while.
But somewhere along the way I lost initiative. I was still recovering from my past medical experiences, never fully getting to the point of getting past them. I was writing a lot but it was more therapeutic than anything else.
After not fully coming to grips with everything and still feeling like I needed time to heal, well that’s when I got another surprise of my life. I needed a right shoulder replacement.
I remember thinking “ok I get through this and then I’ll be ok” but it wasn’t that easy. Instead I embarked on my new adventure of aging bones and joint replacements. Not knowing that the one replacement was going to lead to another and then yet another after that.
Before I know it it’s 5 years later and I have 3 new replacements. Now I’m once again back to the point where I was at age 21 trying to come to grips with everything.
I’m tired and I’ve been tired for years now. I never wanted to be the type of person who asked “why me?” It’s never been in my nature to do so but here lately I find myself doing just that.
Its hard…I can’t deny that anymore. I know in time things will get better, but that’s just it time has never been on my side, so until I actually get that time…well I guess I’ll write and whoever wants to continue following me on this journey is more than welcome.
I don’t anticipate to get there quickly, but I have hope that it will happen. I may not be writing my book that I always thought I would write, but this journey has lead me to this point and I think through this medium people have learned more about me.