The last several years haven’t been easy for me. Many people don’t know it either. In the last 16 months so much has happened and I haven’t worked on processing it all and moving past it all. But I know the time is now and that I need to, my best form of therapy has always been writing so I know I need to get back to that.
Sixteen months ago dad passed away. The weeks leading up to that we kind of knew it was coming, but it’s still hard to imagine that he’s truly gone. Even though dad is gone, he lives on through our family. We have come together and become closer than we ever have. We started having Sunday family dinners every single Sunday. Sundays are the days for family and we are showing my nieces and nephews the importance of that.
The farm we live on is now a place where our family gathers and we are trying to teach the kids the value of family traditions and farm life. Dad may be gone, but he will always live on throughout the farm and its our job as his children to show the next generation that same thing. I know he is looking down and proud to see all of us come together as a family and make it work.
I think of dad every single day and miss him. When he passed away it didn’t seem real, it still doesn’t. It has taken me this long to truly process it all and say goodbye. My dad was a very private person, so I don’t talk about him much. I know he’s looking down and he’s proud of every single one of his kids and grandkids.
I am my fathers daughter, I too don’t talk much about how I feel and I too keep to myself. Growing up with the many medical things I endured I never knew how to talk about what I was thinking or feeling because I knew I had to stay strong, that was something that I never grew out of but recently I’ve learned that I can’t keep holding back.
I’ve got to do whats best for me and I’ve got to do what makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. For years I’ve been scared to write exactly how I feel because I was so use to keeping everything in. I think its time that I start about my life the way I always hoped I would. It’s going to take some time, but I think I’m ready!