Blank Chapter

This year feels as though everything has changed. It is such a weird feeling when you start off the year just knowing that things would be different when you ended the year. But I didn’t know just how much would change.

So like anyone who is scared of change…I started off with something small. I bought a new car! Okay so that’s not really a small change, for me that was a big change. I went from a 2000 Ford Focus to a 2019 Toyota Corolla. Nineteen years of advanced car technology and 11 months later, I’m still learning how to use some of the features in my car.

For me this car represented change and a new chapter in life.

This year has represented a closing of one chapter and on to opening up the next one. I don’t exactly know what the next chapters of life hold- which is why I call it “Blank Chapter.”

I started off this year with a quote “New Year, New Beginnings, New Chapters.” As every year has passed before I got to a point where I felt as though I was living the same days over and over. Life felt like it was on repeat and I felt as though I was missing out on a lot of life.

For years, work was my life and there was a time when I truly enjoyed working my life away. But this year began and I had a “what the heck am I doing?” moment where I realized I was missing out on being with family and friends. I was missing a really big part of my life.

I realized that when I was younger and thought about my future, the very few times I did dream about my future, I didn’t want to be the person who worked their life away. I remember when I was younger and when I would write, I would think “as long as I’m happy, then that’s all that matters.”

It is writing that truly makes me happy. However I am still working on opening up more as that is something I am not use to. I am not use to sharing how I feel and opening up about my life.

So ideally writing a blog and “sharing my story” is extremely hard to do when I’m use to keeping everything inside.

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